Babies Don't
Cry Much, Do They?
Suggestions For Caring For Your Newborn Baby
by Laurie Chamberlin, CD, ICCE
Incessant Crying. Yes, those words both deserve to be capitalized. Anyone
who has experienced this knows why. I look at those two words and pause
momentarily as I am transported back to a time when my second child was
born. He cried. Incessantly. Nothing I did stopped the crying. Nothing.
Day and night.
Mothers and fathers who have babies that cry will tell you that it makes
for a very challenging time, and it keeps you from getting your much needed
rest after labor and birth. Many couples will do just about anything to
get their baby to stop crying and go to sleep.
Good news. We have tools to calm babies from crying. Yes, we do! Not all
babies cry for long periods of time, however, It benefits pregnant couples
to learn these techniques during pregnancy, just in case you have a baby
that does. And, since all babies cry at least some of the time, there is
something for everyone. If I would have known these 5 ‘tricks’ it
would have changed my entire newborn experience from a sleep deprived and
depressed one, to one filled with joy and happiness. I might have had the
energy to take a picture or two!
Pediatrician Dr. Harvey Karp has worked with thousands of crying babies,
he's developed a system called, ‘The 5 S’s.” He outlines
his techniques in his book and DVD, "The Happiest Baby
on the Block." You
can visit his website at www.thehappiestbaby.com to
watch a glimpse of these techniques.
You can also come to my Newborn Care Class "How to
Thrive the First Few Weeks at Home With Your Baby" offered
every other month at Sierra Nevada Memorial Hospital in Grass Valley.
In the class we watch the DVD and cover other important newborn care
topics including: understanding infant cues, bathing, baby blues, how
to avoid flat head syndrome and more. This class became an instant success,
especially with the fathers-to-be.
Laurie Chamberlin, CD, ICCE, LE teaches childbirth
preparation classes. She is also a certified doula, lactation educator
and prenatal counselor for childbirth preparation. For more information
you can call Chamberlin Childbirth at 530.477.5442 or go online at www.chamberlinchildbirth.com | lauriechamberlin@comcast.net
Tips for Getting
Kids to Bed on Time
by Tulum Dothee,
Oakhaven Montessori
Sleep. It is the best thing when you get it and the worst when you
don’t. While there is no quick fix to making sure you and your
kids get enough sleep the first step is getting to bed on time. As
if it were that easy. It can be if you follow a few guidelines:
- Wear
out everyone in the afternoon with vigorous activity.
- Before dinner:
- Do homework.
- Set out clothes for the next day.
- Make tomorrow’s lunches together.
- Have backpacks ready to go by
the door.
- Then switch gears:
- Get in some alone book time (everyone looks
at or reads a book alone, even for 10 minutes) before you all prepare
dinner.
- Play
soothing background music.
- At dinner:
- Lower the lights and keep them low for the evening.
- Continue the music. Environmental
sounds are great too.
- Engage in pleasant conversation, avoid conflict.
- Bedtime routine.
- Establish and follow the same bedtime routine every
night including weekends.
- Schedule in enough time for baths, tooth brushing
and two stories, or better yet try chapter books even for your youngest,
before your designated lights out time.
- Start earlier than you
think you need. Just because it took one
hour last night doesn’t mean it will take the same tonight.
- Expect
the unexpected. Respond to it with humor.
- Commit to being
fully present during the bedtime routine. If the
kids pick up that you want them to go to bed they will do their best
to keep you engaged for longer than ever.
- Incorporate a final ritual to put the day to rest. Try sharing the
happiest and saddest parts of everyone’s day. Avoid problem
solving. Older children may benefit from writing to-do lists or itemizing
concerns. Try a visualization of gathering up loose ends and
putting them aside.
- Things to keep in mind:
- Children learn trust and security through having
routines. When
they understand the schedule and what is expected they feel safe.
- Your
family will test the schedule and you from time to time. When
you maintain the standard they will settle into it again.
- Activity after
dinner will stir everyone up and postpone bedtime. Save
wrestling with Dad for weekend mornings.
- We all learn best when we experience
life through our senses. The
more senses you include in your routine, the more success you will create. Your
family may enjoy thinking of ways to help. “What do our eyes
want to see?” “What will help our ears rest?” “What
scents lull us?” “What foods help our bodies to rest?” “What
soothes my skin?” “What movement comforts me?”
- Plan
ahead for the time change. Discuss it and decide as a family
how you will do things, and what will be the same, and what will change.
- Decide
as a family how you will respond to awakenings during the night. Announce
your plan and do it the same every time. “I will come in, help
you meet your need here in the bedroom, hug and kiss you and return
to bed.”
- Acknowledge the behavior you see. “I see that
you are jumping on the bed. What does your body need to settle
down?” “We
will do it for one minute and then read.”
- Accept the feelings voiced. “Yes,
I hear that you are angry that it is bed time. Tell me all about
it.” After a
minute or two and without problem solving or addressing any content say, “Thank
you for sharing, it is time to say goodnight.”
- For fun: Make a CD
of affirmations for your child to listen to as she drifts off. Focus
on specific areas. Say it as if it were already happening. “You
are now finding it easier and easier to follow directions.” “Everyday
you're learning better ways to express your needs.” Repeat
each one three times.
- Create and maintain your adult bedtime routine so that
you will be rested and able to think clearly when the next challenge
comes your way. And
we all know it will come.
Good Night. Sweet dreams.
Tulum Dothee is a credentialed and certified educator and counselor,
with 30+ years experience teaching and working with families. For more
information visit her web site at www.oakhavenmontessori.com.
School Days
Contributed by Grass Valley School Readiness
Has your child become a Kindergartner this fall, (or started preschool
for the first time)? If so you may be noticing some changes.
This is a
tremendous time of change for your child and you. Your child will be meeting
many new children, following new sets of rules, and learning how to be
a member of his or her classroom. All this takes a great deal of energy.
You may find that your child is coming home very tired, possibly cranky
and not as able to do his or her regular home routine. You may also find
that your family schedule has changed because of school.
With all the changes
taking place, this is a time when your child will really need your love,
support and understanding. Even the most ready child goes through these
challenges with some frustration, crying and tiredness. All of this will
pass, but for the first 8 to 10 weeks your child will need your patience,
extra help and lots of TLC.
Starting school, especially Kindergarten is
a time of great joy, but possibly sadness as well. You’ve raised,
loved and cared for your child for five years and now he or she is off
to school. However, don’t think you are
not as important to your child. You are still your child’s first
and best teacher and crucial to your child’s success! Let your child
see that you are interested in school. Volunteer in your child’s
classroom if at all possible. Make sure to ask him or her questions about
his or her day and let your child know how proud you are. Continue to read
to him or her daily, take time to just hold your child, and enjoy watching
him or her grow and bloom!
Back to
School Anxiety:
Strategies to Help You Cope
by Gayle Peterson, LCSW, PhD
The anticipation of school brings excitement and anxiety. Summer is over
and the responsibilities of homework schedules, tests and structured days
return. Parents and children experience the stress of academic and social
pressures. Anticipating change can spell the difference between feeling
settled by the end of fall term or experiencing distress. You can stem
the tide of stress by preparing yourself and your family for the transition
back to school in the following ways.
ORGANIZE
Creating a household schedule to deal with the increased workload
is a must! Make schedules your friend, not your enemy. Spend 20 minutes
preparing lunches, getting clothes set out to be worn the next day and
anticipating travel arrangements to and from school. Older children (ages
10 and up) can take on some of these tasks themselves, but may still need
your support initiating this kind of structure. Start with the basic needs,
but do not stop there.
All children need help organizing their homework/study
schedules. Helping them do so may ensure that they do not fall behind in
the beginning of the school year, which could have a negative effect on
their learning and self-esteem the rest of the school year. Sit down with
your children -- even your teenagers -- and make a list of what back-to-school
supplies are needed. Include clothes, shoes, binders, organizers, pencils,
file folders and tabs. Make a trip to the store together and involve your
child in picking out his or her favorite colored folders and latest style
clothing. This will help your child become excited about the school year
and motivated toward success.
Before school begins, sit down again with
your children individually to help them develop a system for success that
works. Use colored dividers and tabs for different subjects. Utilize pockets
in folders for incoming and outgoing homework. Let them know that their
parents are there to help them put school papers in proper places when
the school year begins, and assist them in anticipating their needs for
scheduling study time and developing healthy study habits.
FOLLOW THROUGH
The best-laid plans can lead to naught if follow-up does
not occur. Besides checking in with your child after the first day of school,
schedule time to review his or her classes and the responsibilities for
the week, the month or the semester (for high school students). Responsibilities
and expectations for academic work increase with the grade. Junior high
and high school students are particularly vulnerable if they are not well
organized. Since the hormones are raging, and social pressures are distracting,
these students may particularly need your help -- even though they are
older!
Check in each week to review your child's ability to use the system
you have developed together. Attend back-to-school night in the fall to
make contact with your child's teacher(s) and to be in touch with the physical
environment. By making it a point to be connected to their child's school
life, parents glean insight and gain invaluable information about how to
assist children throughout the year. School events, activities and teacher-parent
conferences provide avenues for contact. Use these opportunities!
Staying
in touch with your child's school environment allows you to be ready to
troubleshoot obstacles that arise, particularly if you are trying to turn
around a child's previous negative experience. Consider tutoring resources
(sometimes available for free during lunchtime or study periods). You may
see your job as "secretary" to your child's needs in
some cases. Some children are more capable of organization than others.
Those who need greater assistance may require that you connect them with
resources that are available in the school environment but which they have
simply ignored.
NURTURE EMOTIONAL CONNECTIONS
Regular checking-in about social activities,
sports and academics can take place in the evenings, particularly if you
work outside the home full-time. Make dinnertime a place to gather and
review your day. This is your time to nurture and be nurtured through
a sense of belonging, so make them positive interactions. In other words,
check in with your youngsters and your spouse, but keep the goal of your
interaction supportive and nurturing. Protect this time from negative stresses
by devoting separate time to the specifics of a crisis or a highly stressful
problem later that evening.
Bedtime is a good opportunity to make yourself
emotionally available to your youngsters and your teens. A back rub for
your tired athlete, for example, is a good way to hear about your child's
thoughts, challenges and dilemmas. Although it may sound as though you
would be too tired by the end of the day to nurture another, try it! You
will be amazed at the amount you get back from this kind of emotional connecting
with your child. Work through any initial resistance (tiredness). You will
be rewarded with the energy that comes from positive family relationships!
TROUBLESHOOT
IN OCTOBER
Expect some obstacle to arise about a month to six weeks after
school begins. Whatever adjustment difficulties are present for your child
will become evident in some form. A breakdown in the system of organization
you have created together means you need to reassess and reestablish this
structure. Homework or study problems or relationship problems with authorities
or peers will likely cause some kind of stress for you and your child at
this time, if they are issues. The key here is to EXPECT it!
Do not panic. Take October in stride. Your ability to approach this period
calmly is a must. Psychologically, it may also be a time of stress for
those affected by the shortening of the daylight hours. The last "feel" of
summer is gone and winter lies ahead. Make warm fires and take long baths.
Turn to your spouse and friends for comfort and support. You will find
that if you anticipate this likely "slump," you are more likely
to have the reserves necessary to help your children face their problems
in a positive way. This also sets the tone for the rest of the year. Obstacles
that are handled calmly and thoroughly in fall create a clearer passage
for enjoyment of the springtime!
. . . AND MORE ORGANIZING!
When I was young, I read a quote somewhere that
said, "Organization
is the highest level of creativity." I had previously thought of organizational
activities as bland, even boring, but somewhat necessary. Yet, the phrase
rang in my mind, and over the years I have come to understand organizational
energy as a truly generative, life-giving force.
Invite your children to
participate in the excitement of organization. Creating a sense of order
can help them enjoy a healthy balance of work and play. They will learn
that schedules can be their "friend," too.
Healthy organization, follow through and troubleshooting can provide children
(and parents!) with a sense of accomplishment in feeling prepared instead
of overwhelmed by the demands of the back-to-school transition.
Gayle Peterson, LCSW, PhD practices in Nevada City. She is a member of
BEPE (Birth and Early Parenting Educators). She can be reached for appointments
at (530) 346-2534. Visit her web site: www.MakingHealthyFamilies.com for
information and discussing this topic on Dr. Gayle’s facebook page
for empowering parents.
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September Events
September 5
Wag N' Walk & Bark-B-Que
Want to have a fun-filled day with your dog? The Wag n’ Walk & Bark-B-Que, at the Nevada County Fairgrounds,
is just the event for you and your two and four-legged family members!
AnimalSave and Lazy Dog Ice Cream will raise funds to support AnimalSave
programs and Sidecar Scooter’s Angel Paws Foundation. The event will
feature a costume contest for dogs, canine agility demonstrations, a Dalmatian
Bounce House and Canine Good Citizen Testing. Animalsave will have dogs
and puppies available for adoption. The Bark-B-Que menu will feature fun-foods
like, Pawsta salad, Hot Dogs, a Root Beer Tasting Bar and “Pupcicles” from
the Cold Nose Creamery. Registration forms are available at www.AnimalSave.org. Check in begins at 9:30am and the walk begins at 11:00 am. Cost: $20 for
1-2 dogs, $15 for each additional dog, People are free
Phone: 271-7071 x 201
September 6
Farewell to Summer Ice Cream Social
Malakoff
Diggins State Historic Park.
Farewell to Summer celebration
featuring old fashioned games
including sack races, water
balloon toss, and bubble blowing
contest - make ice cream the
old fashioned way, and enjoy a
special ghost town tour. 10:00 a.m. - 1:00
p.m. $6 per
car.
Phone: 265-2740
September 11
Air Aligned & Friends
Remember Michael Jackson
Celebrate the music of Michael Jackson with
Vocal artists Jamal Walker, Denise Dennis and Nicole Solarez.
Along with professional dancers from Lines Ballet of San Francisco,
Tango AlterNATIVA, Sacramento
Hula Hoop artist Shakti Sunfire,
Poi artist Laurelight MaQui,
and AirAligned aerial dance group.
Reserved Seating. Tickets: $20. Center for the
Arts Box Office. Show time: 8 p.m.
Phone: 274-8384
www.thecenterforthearts.org
September 12
Run for Friendship
To
further promote physical
fitness, each of the 100 girls at
The Friendship Club are invited
to participate in The Friendship
Club’s Run for Friendship
5K/10K run/walk. The race begins
at 8:00 a.m. at The Friendship Club and
winds through scenic Nevada
City. This is a fun event for all
ages.
Phone: 265-4311
www.friendshipclub.org
September 12
Walk a Mile for Literacy
Starts at Gold Miners Inn, a
Holiday Inn Express Hotel, 121
Bank Street. A comfortable
stroll through the downtown
Grass Valley shopping area,
stopping along the way to enjoy
educational table displays about
literacy. 10:00 a.m. - Noon. $10 for adults and $5
for children (5-12) includes a
Walk-a-Mile for Literacy T-shirt.
Phone: 470-2677 or 470-2772
September 12
Moms on the Mountain
The PheMOMenal 15th annual hike to raise funds for arts and technology
programs at the Nevada City School District. Hundreds of women will gather
on September 12 for three hikes of varying difficulties, yummy food, a
silent auction, prizes, and great company. All women are welcome and newcomers
are encouraged. Cost: $50 Donation.
momsonthemountain.com
September 11-13
Great Reno Balloon Race
Rancho San Rafael Park. This event features three days of a mass ascension
of over 100 of the nations"s top hot air balloonists competing in
multiple competitions for a prize purse. A comprehensive selection of food,
crafts, art and souvenirs awaits spectators along with wonderfully uplifting
music to complement this celebration of flight.
Phone: 775-826-1181
www.renoballoon.com
September 19
Fall Harvest Festival
Come celebrate the fall harvest with us! See the farm in all its glory,
snack on gourmet treats provided by our farmer/chefs, and bring the kids
for special games and tours. Show your kids where their food REALLY comes
from! Mountain Bounty Farm is a subscription Community Supported Agriculture
Farm located on the San Juan Ridge. To join our veggie and fruit share
programs, please visit our website at www.MountainBountyFarm.com.
September 24-27
Draft Horse Classic and Harvest Fair
The Fairgrounds will be alive with western music, Art at the Classic, lumberjack
demonstrations, the Western Trade Show, horse shoeing competitions, and
a clogging jamboree.
Between performances, pick up your favorite goodie on Treat Street, then
wander over to the
Pine Tree Stage and enjoy the live entertainment. Or, go "backstage" and
meet the horses up close.
Although there is a fee for the Draft Horse performances, admission to
the Fairgrounds and Harvest Fair activities is free.
Phone: 273-6217
www.nevadacountyfair.com
September 26
Day of the Young Child
Sierra College Nevada County
Campus. A fun fall festival for
children and families, a great place
to connect with resources, child
care, and other families. Lots of
food, activities for children, music
and entertainment. 10:00 a.m.-2:00
p.m. Gold Country
Association for the Education
of Young Children.
Contact: kids.stuff@sbcglobal.net
September 24
Oakhaven Montessori Parent Night
Thursday, September 24, 6:30 - 8:30 p.m.
Interested in learning more about our program? Join us!
Phone:
271-1258
oakhavenmontessori.com
September 29
Newborn Care Class
Gain confidence in caring for your newborn! Comforting, swaddling, calming
a fussy baby, baby cues, diapering, massage, sleeping and more! This class
is new to 2009, it quickly became an overnight success and many students
say they don't know how they would have done it without the techniques
learned in class! Tuesday, September 29th 6pm to 8:30pm. Outpatient building,
Sierra Nevada Memorial Hospital
$30, pay night of class
Call to register: 477-5442
chamberlinchildbirth.com
October Events
October 1 - November 5
Mindful Parenting Class
Thursdays 6:30 - 8:30 pm at Oakhaven Montessori School.
Phone: 271-1258
oakhavenmontessori.com
Ongoing Events
Baby & Me
Join in for songs, playtime, and discussion while getting to know other parents
and babies. Join an existing group now. Birth to 12 months. Weekday mornings
at the Grass Valley Methodist Church in downtown Grass Valley. FREE to first-time
participants, sliding scale fee up to $50 for 10 sessions for subsequent groups.
Phone: Meg 913-2745
e-mail: meg@first5nevco.org
first5nevco.org/programs.cfm
Toddler & Me
Join in for songs and playtime in a preschool setting while getting to
know other parents and toddlers. We are creating new groups now for children
12 to 24 months. Monday mornings at the T.K. McAteer Family Resource
Center in Nevada City. FREE to first-time participants, sliding scale
fee up to $50 for 10 sessions for subsequent groups.
Phone: Samie 265-0611 x223
e-mail: samie@first5nevco.org
first5nevco.org/programs.cfm
Early Pregnancy Consultation
Mention the First 5 Newsletter to receive 50% off. Now only $27.50. For
women in their first or second trimester. Consultations scheduled regularly.
Call to schedule: 477-5442
lauriechamberlin.com
2nd Monday of the Month
Hope in Nevada County Food Distribution
A food distribution will be held at the Grass Valley Elks Lodge the 2nd
Monday of every month from 10 a.m. to 11 a.m. We focus on families with
young children, seniors and the disabled but we don't turn any one in need
of assistance with food away. All we require is that you sign in and take
only what you can use. We offer a wide variety of foods and have offered
such items as fresh fruits and vegetables, chicken, breads, canned goods
and staples.
Phone: 263-4753
Every Wednesday
TDRPD Summer Music Series
Regional Park Amphitheater, Truckee. 6:30-8:00pm. Free. Bring a picnic
and come and enjoy live music down by the river.
www.tdrpd.com
Every Thursday
Farmers Market &
Community Concert Series
6:00-9:00 p.m. in downtown
GV. FREE.
Phone: 272-8315
historicgrassvalley.com
Every Friday
P.L.A.Y. Groups (Parenting, Learning, Activities, Year-Round)
You can participate by dropping in any time or by joining a parent led group
that meets on Fridays from 12-1:30 in the Family Resource Center. Just take a
child development activity sheet and enjoy fun activities with your child while
networking with other parents. SNCS Family Resource Center. For more information
contact Cindy at: 272-8866 x 203
Every Saturday
Nevada City Farmers Market
Union Street between Broad and Commercial. 8:00 a.m. - 12p.m. Local farms, two
stages of local music, artisans, children’s activities, and educational
demonstrations as well as prepared breakfast and lunch vendors.
ncfarmersmarket.org
Now Enrolling
Oakhaven Montessori School
Enrolling now for the school year, 2 - 6 year olds, year round extended
care, seasonal camps for 6 - 12 year olds.
Phone:
271-1258
oakhavenmontessori.com
“Your Amazing Infant” - Truckee
A series for parents and their infants, ages birth through 3 months. These classes increase bonding through nurturing touch and physical interaction between parent and child. Call the Early Learning Project at 582-2583 or email rhall@ttusd.org for information.
Toddler Gym Time - Truckee
Toddlers and their parents enjoy free play in the big gym with an array of exciting developmental equipment. Have fun, meet new friends and build new skills. Call the Early Learning Project at 582-2583 or email rhall@ttusd.org for information.
Music Together - Truckee
Children birth to 4 and their parents will enjoy this research-based program that includes songs, instrument play and movement in a relaxed and playful setting. Call the Early Learning Project at 582-2583 or email rhall@ttusd.org for information.
“Baby and Me” - Truckee
Fun, educational classes for parents with infants under 12 months old. Organized activities and informal discussions weekly. Next session begins Sept 1st. 10am - 11:15 Call 582-2583 or email ruthjacksonhall@yahoo.com for more information.
Infant Massage and Yoga - Truckee
A series for parents and their infants, ages birth to crawling. These classes increase bonding through nurturing touch, infant massage, and baby yoga. Next session begins Sept 14th. Call 582-2583 or email ruthjacksonhall@yahoo.com for more information. |
