Warning: TV IS NOT FOR BABIES!

by Lindsay Dunckel,
Executive Director First 5 Nevada County

Do you have “Baby Einstein” DVDs at home? Most families do. But the American Academy of Pediatrics says children under age 2 should see no TV at all – because early television viewing seems to have effects on children’s growing brains. It has been linked to later attention problems. And babies who watch “Baby Einstein” DVDs know fewer words than babies who don’t.

Now, the Disney Corporation is acknowledging that DVDs don’t make babies smarter by offering money back for any “Baby Einstein” DVDs purchased between June 5, 2004 and September 4, 2009, no receipt required. First 5 Nevada County would be happy to do the shipping for you: drop off up to 4 DVDs and your completed refund coupon (click here to access the coupon) at one of these places between now and February:

• Your Baby & Me or Toddler & Me class
• First 5 office: 400 Hoover Lane, Nevada City (TK McAteer Family Resource Center)
• Grass Valley School Readiness office: 235 South Auburn St., Grass Valley (next to Hennessy School)

Keep the books and toys – those are great. But send back those DVDs and you can use the refund to buy new books and toys that make for much more appropriate playtime for babies and young children. First 5 Nevada County encourages families to read to, play with, talk to and sing to their babies; let babies explore toys, books, safe household objects: those are the things that help them learn! You are your baby’s favorite plaything; even just looking into your face is deeply interesting and satisfying to your baby.

Of course, everyone needs a break sometimes, to be able to put the baby down and have him entertained for a few minutes. Try setting your baby down somewhere safe where she can move her whole body (a crib or floor for a not-yet-mobile baby; a floor in a child-proofed room, a play yard, or a highchair for a mobile one). Car seats and bouncy seats keep babies from moving and exploring and they usually won’t be happy for as long in them. Place toys within reach, turn on some music, wind up a mobile, place a child-proof mirror where the baby can see himself, and give him some time to explore and entertain himself. At first, your baby will only last a few minutes (or even seconds, if this is new to her), but you can grow her ability to entertain himself by giving her practice at it in many small bursts for as long as she is happy and then by joining her on the floor and playing with her to extend the time she spends there. Eventually, she might be able to last 20 minutes or so. And this will help your baby develop some wonderful things that will help all through his life: patience; creativity as he figures out what to do; the ability to regulate his feelings – like getting excited and then calming himself; and problem solving strategies – as he explores the toys in an open-ended way, finding out what happens when he takes different actions. All these things help your baby grow her brain, something watching a DVD is never going to do.

For more information about First 5 Nevada County go to: www.first5nevco.org or call (530) 265-0611 x 223.

Reading at Every Age
Tips for Raising a Lifelong Reader

Contributed by First 5 Nevada County

Good reading habits start early. Reading aloud to your child at a young age offers many benefits, including fostering a love of books and developing lifelong learning skills. In fact, research shows that young children who read with their families are better prepared when they start kindergarten and are more likely to succeed in school.

November is Child Literacy Month and a perfect time for families to adopt daily reading habits with their children. First 5 Nevada County encourages families to visit the library to participate in storytelling activities and take books home to read together. Here are a few tips on how you can make reading a daily part of your child’s life.

Infants

Reading aloud provides special bonding time for parents and infants. Babies enjoy hearing the sound of a familiar voice while the words, pictures and stories stimulate their brains.

• Start slowly. Infants have short attention spans so keep your reading time brief. Repeat stories and rhymes often so your baby learns new words and sounds each time.
• Explore books together. Babies like brightly colored books with photos of other children and familiar objects, such as toys and baby bottles. Also, choose books with pop-up characters and images that are soft to the touch so your baby can feel different textures.

Toddlers

Reading improves toddlers’ listening and speaking skills, and helps them begin to understand words and phrases.

• Read and repeat. Toddlers enjoy hearing the same story repeated many times; this helps them make connections between words and pictures. While reading, ask your child to turn the pages and name the objects they see. They can even try to guess what will happen next in the story!
• Choose the right books. Toddlers like books that show characters doing familiar things like playing and smiling. Pick books with only a few words per page and stories that rhyme for extra fun.

Preschoolers

As children prepare to enter school for the first time, daily reading habits can give them an extra boost. That’s because reading builds confidence as well as vocabulary skills, which are both important for school success.

• Visit the library often. Make visits to the library a regular part of your activities with your children, and let them choose several books on their favorite topics. Also, ask about free resources you can participate in together, like preschool storytimes, and don’t forget to sign up for library cards – they’re free!
• Always have a book nearby. Make sure to always have books available for your children, even while running errands or traveling in the car. Read while waiting at the doctor’s office or at the bus stop – anytime is a good time for reading!

For more information about First 5 Nevada County go to: www.first5nevco.org or call (530) 265-0611 x 223.

Beware!  Grump Monsters Are In the Air

by Tulum Dothee,
Oakhaven Montessori

Though it has been a month since the harvest moon, we continue to process feelings and experiences from past seasons.  Our sweet little ghosts and goblins here at Oakhaven keep us on our toes.  The phone rings with reports of the same at home, and my counseling spots are filled.

The season brings changes in the weather and our lifestyles.   Add to that Halloween, the full moon coming up, temperature fluctuations and the blustery wind and we are all whipped up.  The trick to this time of year is to fly through the changes and at least survive, or at best, thrive.  Here is a bag of treats to help you catch that magic broom and zoom to success. 

Trick:  The grump monsters are in the air!
Treat: Bring them back to earth with grounding activities: digging in the soil or sand, planting, experimenting with water.  Think big body movements and contact with earth elements.

Trick: “Sweet treats!” Your pumpkins plead, plead, plead.
Treat: Munch on one of these:

• Enjoy a set number of candies in one sitting and put the rest out for the Halloween Fairy who will swap the candy basket for a book or toy.  
• Dole out one a day for a week at 3:00 pm followed by a protein snack.  
• Try one for dessert, before dinner, for one week only.  
• Keep 10 pieces of candy and put out the rest for the ghosts, so they will go away until next Halloween. Leave a small token in exchange. 

Trick: The whining witch is on double duty.
Treat: Pull out your bag of bones and try one on for size:

• Schedule daily whining time-everyone whines for a full minute at the same time.  This one is fun.
• Nothing like a good laugh to whisk away the whines.
• Use a hand signal and disengage by walking away.
• Say “I can’t understand you.”  Wait for a different voice to comply with the request.
• Try “I'll be happy to help you as soon as I hear your regular voice.”  Continue with your day until that pleasant voice surfaces.

Trick: The complaining ghoul is out and about and wants you to hear all about it.
Treat: Select your favorite:

• “I will listen to you for one minute, give you a hug and go back to my chore.”  Listen, do not address complaint or problem solve.
• Schedule complaint time. “The complaint department is closed, try back at 4:00.”  Stay open for 5 minutes only.
  

Trick: The cling-on gremlins are holding on tight and won’t let go when go you must.
Treat: Time proven method:

• Discuss ahead of time how departures will look.
• Agree on the number of kisses and hugs.
• Practice a few times.
• Don’t linger.  The longer you take to leave the worse it gets.
• Don’t negotiate.  In fact, don’t talk at all.
• Don’t buy into it.  Your child magically recovers when the door shuts.
• Do it the same way every time.
  

Trick: The bats are so tired they fly around instead of settling down to sleep. 
Treat: Get plenty of exercise in the afternoon, and stick to your bedtime routine.

Trick: The bossy jack o’ lantern is afire.
Treat:  Assign special days. Every family member gets one day a week and gets to be in charge on (and only on) their day.

Trick: The irritable ghost siblings are picking fights and rattling their chains.
Treat: Take your choice and mix it up occasionally.

• Ask “What happened before that?” repeatedly until the truth pops out.
• Cool off and acknowledge everyone’s part in the incident: what we learned and what we will do differently. 
• Let them work it out on their own.

Trick:  The busy gargoyles go, go, go all day and fall apart the minute you show up.
Treat: Hand them something to eat.  Lie down with them.  Read a book.  Listen to a CD. Do less.  

Trick: The arguing scarecrow is back, back, back-talking.
Treat: Listen one time and acknowledge without engaging—try smiling or winking, then disengage.
Name it and set boundary: “That is back-talk. No thank you.” 

Bottom line:  Unless it is a safety issue take time out for yourself first.  Breathe, release and calm down before you address what is occurring.   

We are heading into the holiday season.  Let's clear the bats out of the belfry and embrace the season.  Keep the spirit of thankfulness and generosity alive.  Get more rest. Do less. Let go of something you scheduled. Express gratitude. Eat good food.

Tulum Dothee is a credentialed and certified educator and counselor, with 30+ years experience teaching and working with families. For more information visit her web site at www.oakhavenmontessori.com.

Apple Crisp

by Wendy Van Wagner

Why not mix it up this year for Thanksgiving with an apple crisp? Serve it alongside the wonderful and traditional pumpkin pie! Our region is blessed with a bounty of beautiful heirloom apples so grab the family and find the apple tree nearest to you! Pick your own and then cozy up in the kitchen to make this fun and yummy dessert!

In the Kitchen has great kids classes through December:
Holiday Cooking Classes for Children for ages 8-13
Fridays, 3:30 to 5:15 p.m.
At In the Kitchen, 648 Zion St., Nevada City.

Ingredients

• 2/3 cup rolled oats
• 1/3 cup all-purpose flour
• 1/3 cup dark brown sugar
• 1/3 cup pecans, toasted, chopped
• Pinch fine salt
• 6 tablespoons cold unsalted butter, cut into bits
• 4 medium baking apples, such as Braeburn, Rome, or Golden Delicious,
• Unsweetened whipped cream, optional

Directions

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F. Lightly butter 6 (6-ounce) ramekins.

Whisk the oats, flour, brown sugar, pecans, and salt in a medium bowl. Rub in the butter with your fingertips until it is in even, pea-size pieces. Peel, core, and coarsely chop the apples and divide evenly among the ramekins. Scatter the crisp topping evenly over the fruit in each ramekin.

Transfer the ramekins to a baking sheet and cook until the fruit bubbles around the sides and the top is golden, about 30 minutes.

Preheat a broiler. Place the crisps about 4 inches from the broiler and cook until golden brown, about 30 seconds. Let cool about 15 minutes before serving. Serve warm with whipped cream, if using.

Wendy Van Wagner is the owner of the local cooking school IN THE KITCHEN in Nevada City,
offering classes to both kids and adults. Join the revival of taste, table and tradition!
Tel:478-0669 | IN THE KITCHEN, 648 Zion Street, Nevada City, CA
Web site: www.wendyvanwagner.com | Blog: www.localfoodtastesbetter.wordpress.com

End of the Work Day "Transition Blues"

by Gayle Peterson, LCSW, PhD

QUESTION: We have a highly spirited 14-month-old son who tends to be more cooperative with me than with his mother. As soon as I walk in the door after work, my wife needs to vent her frustrations; however, I don't want to hear negativity about our son after missing him all day! This is beginning to cause problems in our marriage. Any suggestions?

ANSWER: Parenthood requires changes in your relationship. Your wife's request for venting is an appropriate one. She is a new mother, and like you, she has many things to learn. Her ability to meet and deal with frustrations partly depends on the soothing she gets from you.

Simultaneously, you are experiencing heightened tension when the family reunites at the end of the day. I call this "transition blues." Be aware that families undergo separation and reunification on a daily basis. It is not unusual for spouses and children to struggle with conflicting emotions that collide upon impact, especially when your family is young. Now is the time to set the foundation for successfully meeting these needs, rather than ignoring them.

First, it is critical that you experience the role of being the full-time caretaker for your son at some point. If your wife would like to get away for a day or weekend with a girlfriend, you will have a small taste of what her day is like as "Mom." It is sometimes difficult for parents who do not stay home with their children for extended periods of time to truly understand the intensity of the minute by minute, daily caretaking experience. It is all too easy for Dad to become the fun guy, while Mom becomes the drudge.

Talk with your wife about reversing your roles. It is healthy for your son to play with Mom and experience Dad as the one who nurtures him throughout the day -- diapering, feeding and setting limits so that he does not pull bookshelves down on his head or eat poisonous plants in the garden. This will allow you greater empathy with your wife about the frustrations she experiences and will allow her to feel that mothers can be interesting, too!

Consider the contradictory needs that accumulate over the course of a day. For example, many mothers (or fathers) who stay home to care for children may be desperate for adult interaction and connection. Their needs for interactive sharing — especially about the frustrations of their day — reaches a peak at the very minute their partner walks in the door. This partner, however, longs to relax and wind down.

Your expectations are directed toward the excitement of greeting your son and your wife. You want to hear all of the wonderful things you have missed. Your wife, however, is tired from a long day of riveted attention and care on a very active toddler. She is emotionally exhausted and wants to unload her frustrations on you, the only other parent of this wondrous child.

Meanwhile your spirited little boy is no doubt literally buzzing with anticipation of being greeted and swung high into the air by this exciting father figure who magically reappears each evening. And, of course, all of you are hungry, too! No wonder this period of the day has often been called the "witching hour."

Consider implementing a strategy that will ease your "transition blues." Develop a family plan to address needs throughout the evening. But reduce emotional tension by agreeing to make reuniting the goal of the first half hour together. This means hugs and an initial activity between a young child and the parent who has been away all day. Reading a story or playing a short game can suffice.

Dinner is a good time to reconnect with the family. You can connect as adults after dinner, while children are encouraged to play for 20 minutes independently. Or you may want to wait until after bedtime to share the frustrations and triumphs of your day in greater detail.

Your wife will be able to wait for comfort if she can look forward to your empathetic listening at the end of the day. You can also greatly reduce the tension of the first contact at home if you connect earlier by phone. Allow her to share her difficulties and ask her to call you when something good happens, too! This will help you maintain connection that includes both venting and teamwork.

Gayle Peterson, LCSW, PhD practices in Nevada City. She is a member of BEPE (Birth and Early Parenting Educators). She can be reached for appointments at (530) 346-2534. Visit her web site: www.MakingHealthyFamilies.com for information and discussing this topic on Dr. Gayle’s facebook page for empowering parents.

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Articles

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Looking for Child Care?

Sierra Nevada Children's Services is our local child care resource and
referral agency.  When you go in to meet with a family support specialist, you can ask to look through the child care referral binder, which profiles many family and
center-based child care facilities in our community and lets you compare the early
childhood education backgrounds of the providers, hours of operation, rates,
and much more.  Whether you are seeking subsidized care or just looking for
a good match for childcare, this binder is a great new resource. SNCS is located at 256 Buena Vista Street in Grass
Valley, and can be reached at (530) 272-8866 or sncs.org.

November Events

November 5 - 15
Aladdin – The Musicall
A production by The Nevada County Performing Arts Guild (PAG). Held at the Center for the Arts. Showtimes: Fridays 7 p.m., Saturdays and Sundays 2 p.m. Tickets: Adults $12, Students & Seniors $10, Children $5.
Phone: 277-7100
Email: ptrudolph@sbcglobal.net

November 7
Peace. Love. Swap. Kid's Swap
The peace. love. swap. mission is to keep gently used baby, kid, and maternity items out of our landfills, and to donate to local charities by hosting fun, affordable, family friendly swaps where moms and dads can exchange their unwanted and/or outgrown items with other local parents.How do the swaps work? Clean out your kids' closets, and bring all your gently used stuff that you want to get rid of! Bring as much or as little as you want (ages 0-14) & maternity~ and take what you want~ as much or as little as you want. Time: 8:30 - 11:30 a.m. at Gold Country Gymnastics.
Phone:  913-6848

November 7
Truckee Ski Swap
Truckee Community Center, Church Street. 11am to 4pm. Great deals on downhill, cross country and snowboarding equipment for the entire family.
Phone: 582-7720
tdrpd.com

November 8
Eco Kids – A Ecology Fair for the Young Child at the Imaginarium
Smokey the Bear, booths, games, animal exhibits, food, goat cart rides, miniature horses and activities for children and the whole family. Noon – 4:00. Cost:  $7.00 Adults, Kids FREE.
Phone: 265-6649
E-mail: info@sndei.org
sndei.org

November 9
Friends of the Library Book Sale
Held at the Doris Foley Historical Library, 211 N. Pine Street, Nevada City. Most books cost between 25¢ and $3.00, You'll find a great selection of children's paperback and hardback books.9 am to 3 pm.
Phone: 265-7050
friendsofthenevadacountylibraries.org

November 13
Imaginarium Open to the Public
Come explore our world of science, nature, and technology.   On display through December – Celebrating the International Year of Astronomy.  Noon – 5:00. Cost: $4 Student  $6 Adults.
Phone:  478-6415
nevco.k12.ca.us/imaginar.htm

November 27-28
Holiday Open House
The Bourn Cottage and Clubhouse will be decked out in holiday decorations. Volunteers in period dress will provide a warm glimpse of Christmas in the early 1900s. Cookies and cider will be served in the cottage kitchen. Santa & Mrs. Claus will greet children in the clubhouse. Empire Mine State Park, 10791 E. Empire St., GV. 11am-4pm. $3.00 for adults 17 and over and $1.00 for children 6 to 16. Children under 6 are free.
Phone: 273-8522
empiremine.org

November 27
Cornish Christmas
Mill and W. Main Streets are closed to motorized traffic and filled with the sights and sounds of an old fashioned Christmas; carolers, jugglers, musicians, the Grass Valley Cornish Carol Choir, Tommyknocker Cloggers and, of course, Santa Claus. Downtown Grass Valley. 6-9pm.
Phone: 272-8315
historicgrassvalley.com

Ongoing Events

Baby & Me
Join in for songs, playtime, and discussion while getting to know other parents and babies. Join an existing group now. Birth to 12 months. Weekday mornings at the Grass Valley Methodist Church in downtown Grass Valley. FREE to first-time participants, sliding scale fee up to $50 for 10 sessions for subsequent groups.
Phone: Meg 913-2745
e-mail: meg@first5nevco.org
first5nevco.org/programs.cfm

Toddler & Me
Join in for songs and playtime in a preschool setting while getting to know other parents and toddlers. We are creating new groups now for children 12 to 36 months. Monday mornings at the T.K. McAteer Family Resource Center in Nevada City. FREE to first-time participants, sliding scale fee up to $50 for 10 sessions for subsequent groups.
Phone: Samie 265-0611 x223
e-mail: samie@first5nevco.org
first5nevco.org/programs.cfm

Early Pregnancy Consultation
Mention the First 5 Newsletter to receive 50% off. Now only $27.50. For women in their first or second trimester. Consultations scheduled regularly.
Call to schedule: 477-5442
chamberlinchildbirth.com

2nd Monday of the Month

Hope in Nevada County Food Distribution
A food distribution will be held at the Grass Valley Elks Lodge the 2nd Monday of every month from 10 a.m. to 11 a.m. We focus on families with young children, seniors and the disabled but we don't turn any one in need of assistance with food away. All we require is that you sign in and take only what you can use. We offer a wide variety of foods and have offered such items as fresh fruits and vegetables, chicken, breads, canned goods and staples.
Phone: 263-4753

Every Friday

P.L.A.Y. Groups (Parenting, Learning, Activities, Year-Round)
You can participate by dropping in any time or by joining a parent led group that meets on Fridays from 12-1:30 in the Family Resource Center. Just take a child development activity sheet and enjoy fun activities with your child while networking with other parents. SNCS Family Resource Center. For more information contact Cindy at: 272-8866 x 203

Family Movie Night - Truckee
Northwoods Clubhouse Bring your favorite pillow and blanket, kick up your feet, and enjoy a movie for the whole family on our 150 inch movie screen every Friday night at. Family Movie Night is a FREE event.
11509 Northwoods Blvd.Truckee.

Now Enrolling

“Your Amazing Infant” - Truckee
A series for parents and their infants, ages birth through 3 months. These classes increase bonding through nurturing touch and physical interaction between parent and child. Call the Family Resource Center at 587-2513 or email classes@truckeefrc.org for information.

Family Music: Music for Little Kids, by a Big Kid - Truckee
Children, birth to 5, and their parents enjoy this fun and humorous musical experience that includes singing, instrument play and movement in a relaxed and playful setting. $49 for 7 sessions, includes music CD. Call the Family Resource Center at 587-2513 or email classes@truckeefrc.org for information.

Toddler Gym Time - Truckee
Toddlers and their parents enjoy free play in the big gym with an array of exciting developmental equipment. Have fun, meet new friends and build new skills. Call the Family Resource Center at 587-2513 or email classes@truckeefrc.org for information.

“Baby and Me” - Truckee
Fun, educational classes for parents with infants under 12 months old. Organized activities and informal discussions weekly. Call 587-2513 or email classes@truckeefrc.org for more information.